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Top Ten Things I Learned from Breastfeed Chicago (except that there are 22 things…)

23 Mar

Thank you to the ladies on the Breastfeed Chicago Facebook group for their contributions! In no particular order:

  1. Coconut oil apparently can cure ANYTHING.
  2. Find a supportive mama tribe – toxic relationships aren’t worth your time.
  3. Breastfeeding in public is not only possible; it’s normal!
  4. Preemies CAN learn to breastfeed!
  5. Twins can too!
  6. If your boobs look like they are covered in blood, check to make sure it isn’t just ketchup from lunch.
  7. Never quit on a bad day.
  8. Trust your baby and trust yourself.
  9. You’re not alone.
  10. That there are tons of mamas just like me who want to challenge society’s norms of breastfeeding.
  11. Toddlers can breastfeed, too!
  12. Don’t put limits on your expectations for nursing…do it until it no longer works.
  13. When you think you’re the only one with an issue, one of two things will happen: you will find that you are not alone, and you may learn something new in the process.
  14. Breastmilk has amazing antibacterial properties!
  15. What you pump isn’t an indication of your supply.
  16. Read up on “normal” baby sleep – it’s probably not what your grandma or girlfriend is telling you!
  17. Your breasts are never empty – you are always making milk.
  18. Pumping straight into storage bags will save a ton of time!
  19. Keep on keepin’ on and get help if you need it. Perseverance in those early weeks is key!
  20. “Put a little breastmilk on it.” Breast milk is to me as Windex is to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”
  21. Side-lying nursing can save your sanity.
  22. AND… the number one thing that I’ve learned from Breastfeed Chicago is to never doubt the power of well-informed and supported moms to change the world, because we’re doing it every day.

Two Breasts for Two Babies, Part Two: My Experience Nursing Twins to 22 Months

19 Apr

Nursing Two Babies When You Are Home Alone:  One Step at a Time

There is the rule never to wake a sleeping baby.  Then there is the guideline to feed your multiple babies at the same time.  Clearly, these are contradictory.  I wouldn’t always wake my twin girls.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it if one was learning to sleep longer stretches.  So I created my own madness, especially at night.  During the day, though, I did feed them at the same time since I have two breasts and two babies and let-down is simultaneous. Made sense to me.  Around 8 months, though, the babies were too wiggly and interested in each other.  I started feeding one at a time until they were old enough to calm down again to nurse without turning their heads with my breast still attached or pushing off with their feet like tug of war.  It was nice to get one-on-one time, but it obviously made feedings take twice as long for those few months.

It is a bit tricky to burp the babies by yourself, but you will eventually be able to nurse one while you burp the other and then switch.  You can also burp both by crossing your arms behind the babies’ backs as they lean against your shoulders.

To nurse independently feels like quite an accomplishment, but it did happen and got easier.  Here’s one suggestion based on what I did:

First, put the babies one at a time in a safe place where you are nursing.  For me, I took up the whole bed with pillows, which I felt was safest, though I did use the couch too.  Place one baby securely on one side of where you will sit.  Then, pick up the other baby and get yourself seated and lay that baby down on the other side.  Then, situate your Boppies and pillows.  Next, pick up one baby and put the baby on one Boppy and repeat for the next baby.  Then, latch one baby and then the next baby and you will be efficiently nursing both babies.  It sounds like it is in slow motion, but, believe me, when your babies are crying, you will get fast and it will be a bit chaotic for a few minutes.

Now, which baby do you latch first?  Do you take the one who screams the loudest, or alternate so the “quieter” one is being rewarded too?  Well, that’s tricky and I don’t have the answer.  I like to think I was fair and tried to alternate babies as I did breasts (believe me, I kept charts and kept track of everything for way longer than I needed to), but I’m sure I tried to quiet the loudest one who was getting on my nerves a bit more than the one waiting patiently.

Anyway, so they both are nursing and then they fall asleep.  Now what?  You are stuck under a pile of pillows and multiple babies.  If there is no one else to help you transfer a baby to a place to sleep and you don’t want to take a nap right there after you detach your nipples, then you can do the reverse procedure.  Gently shift one baby ON THE BOPPY (that is important if you want to minimize the chances of the baby waking up) off your lap onto the bed and prop with another handy pillow.  Then, take other baby to a sleeping place and hold your breath that you are successful and run back for the other one.

Okay, so the transfer while asleep didn’t work well all the time and yet somehow I managed to stay hopeful.  Until you learn to nurse lying down your life will pretty much suck as you give suck, but hang in there!  It’s totally worth it.

I admit I nursed the babies IN THEIR CRIBS sometimes to get them to just go to sleep and not have to worry about the transfer. Helps to have a low crib with low sides for that, but it hurts your back and when you look at your deflated boobs that fall to the bottom of your ribcage you’ll remember sadly the times when you told yourself “I don’t care what happens to my boobs, just go to sleep darn it!”

Night Feedings: The Bookends

Once I learned how to nurse lying down my whole world changed!  I co-slept* for close to 6 months and slept between the babies, flipping back and forth all night long. It helps NOT to look at the clock in the middle of the night and just go back to sleep.  Unless, of course, you have to burp your baby!  For many months, my husband and I had a routine that felt like walking on egg shells and I’m sure there is a better way and at least a hundred other ways, but it’s what worked well enough for us.

At night, I would nurse one baby to sleep lying down (at less than 2 months we started this I think).  My husband would bring me the other baby and I would oh-so-carefully flip over and nurse the other baby while he would scoop up the first baby to burp and then return to me when she was finally asleep.  Then, he would take the second baby to burp and return to me.  If I was lucky and they were totally out, I could escape between them for a couple hours, but sometimes they would wake up and we’d have to start over.  If I got away, they would inch towards each other so when I got back into bed, I had to shift them so I had space to sleep in the middle.  I felt like I was bookended, though.  And my back was uncomfortable since I couldn’t really stretch out.  Truthfully, I could sleep a lot better than if I had to get up and put a baby back and forth in a crib and do it again an hour later, since I was a sucker and wouldn’t wake them at the same time.  In fact, the arrangement we had with co-sleeping (and I know it isn’t for everybody) worked well BECAUSE they didn’t wake at the same time.  It was definitely cramped, though, even in our king sized bed.

So, at 6 months, they moved to their own room with their own cribs and I got my space back.  Then, I nursed them in their room and transferred them back to their cribs, but I’d end up nursing one on the floor and would just plain fall asleep until the other one woke up hungry and I’d repeat the process.  The floor wasn’t any better than being squished, but I wanted to move them out of my bed so this is what I did for way too long.

Once we dropped the night feeding at 18 months, the girls started sleeping really well through the night.  I wish I had dropped the night feeding sooner!  It is just so hard to know what to do and there is so much information and so many opinions out there. Remember, this is just what we did…and I’m not even saying it worked well, it’s just what we did to get through.  You will figure out your own rhythm and, as long as it works well enough for you to get through the day, it works.

When to Stop Pumping: When it No Longer Makes Sense

I was lucky enough to be home with my girls and was able to breastfeed them for most feedings.  The girls got a bottle of breastmilk at least once a day that was given to them by another family member and I could do other things during that feeding.  When the family was no longer around and I realized I was the one who was giving them their once-a-day bottle, I decided it was time to stop pumping, which was perfect as we were going out of town and I really didn’t want to deal with it on the trip.  I pumped for almost a year, very frequently at first, then about 3 times a day for a couple months, then down to once a day to just have some in the fridge in case I needed to go out or take a break.  And you will need breaks. While you might feel like a cow at times, you are doing something so incredible that only you can do and it will not last forever.

Weaning: Nice and Slow

I was the one who was ready first.  I was tired of having my breasts tugged on to the sides (by the end when the girls were older, I would lie down and they would each lie down next to me and nurse, but they would pull my breasts and nipples so that now my nipples are permanently angled out to the sides).  My back hurt from leaning over (I know you are supposed to bring the babies up, but when the only comfortable position is with the babies cradled on your lap while sitting on the floor, that isn’t an option).  I needed to sleep through the night for once.  I didn’t enjoy nursing anymore, and I felt really guilty about it.  So, I knew I was done.  Plus, I was going away for a wedding a few months later and wasn’t sure how that would otherwise work.  But we took our time since we weren’t really in a hurry and the girls had expressed no real desire to stop nursing for comfort.

We dropped about one feeding a month.  The night feeding was the first to go at 18 months.  That was hard since I was used to nursing them to sleep, but we all survived that stage.

Next, we dropped the session before bed, which was the easiest, remarkably, to drop.  We replaced nursing with tons of cuddles and an extensive routine of hugs and reading with cow’s milk in a new cup with a straw.  In fact, we built up getting big girl cups for so long that the girls were super excited when we finally brought them out.

After several weeks, I did the same routine for the feeding before nap.  That one took longer because, instead of nursing the girls to sleep, they were awake in their beds and chatted for a long time before they would eventually sleep. But they did.

Finally, the last feeding we dropped was the one in the morning. That one was the hardest for me to let go since I could nap a bit while they snacked upon waking.  Again, we just distracted them and gave them milk in a cup first thing and it was no big deal.

By 22 months old, I wanted to be sure we were done so I could leave for my friend’s wedding and come back to kids on cups and have my now unrecognizable body back.  It worked.  I was more sad than I thought I’d be, probably because of the guilt. But they were ready too.  Within 3 days of weaning, there were no more questions.  One of my daughters developed a habit of stroking the flab under my arm once she was weaned as a seeming substitute, but even that has worn off now.  Every so often, the girls point to my breasts and say “when we were babies, we drank milk from your breasts” and I’m glad they will always know that I did that for them.  My two breasts did their job for twin babies and are now retired.

*For more information on co-sleeping safety guidelines, see: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

Amanda S. is a SAHM mom of twin girls in Chicago.

Two Breasts for Two Babies, Part One: Breastfeeding Newborn Twins

9 Apr

Can You Breastfeed Twins?:  YES!

So all of a sudden you have these two babies out of your womb and you are responsible for their nourishment.  Sure you tried to prepare, but you really can’t ever be ready for the craziness that now is your life.  Can you even breastfeed them? Will your body produce enough?  Will you be able to keep up physically and mentally?  Will you ever sleep again?  The feedings are constant, you are exhausted and you are feeling completely isolated.  But you aren’t alone. You can do it.  I know it can be done, because I did it too.

When my babies were tiny, I looked online for photos of moms holding their multiple babies in nursing positions.  It helped a lot to actually see how it could work and as my twin girls grew, I used many of those positions.  I also was encouraged by reading other stories of successes and challenges.  This is my story.

You Mean There’s More Than One Baby?: The Preparation

I always planned to breastfeed.  My mom did, even in the days when it wasn’t as common in the States.  When I learned we were actually having twins, that plan didn’t change. If anything, it made more sense to breastfeed because of the money we would save on formula for two and potentially on future medical expenses.   However, I was apprehensive since a lot of the twin moms I talked to, for one reason or another, weren’t able to breastfeed long—if at all—so I felt I was in new territory.

I feel really lucky that we made it through the challenges, because there WERE times when I was just so tired and frustrated and wanted to give up.  However, I was determined and knew if we could just push through, it would work out.  I did have support, which makes a big difference and lining that up is crucial.  My husband was on board from the beginning, our extended family helped with the process (my parents and in-laws all had turns washing the pump), friends were supportive and the Moms of Multiples group I joined was a great resource as well as other online groups.  Dr. Barbara Luke’s book When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads was excellent during pregnancy, but the chapter on feeding the babies after they are born was much too short.

The multiples birthing class we took didn’t prepare us in the way I would have liked.  I think practicing positions with dolls would have been a useful exercise.  It covered breastfeeding, but no one REALLY gives you the scoop on how to manage two babies and the physicality of it all.  While it’s different for all women, no one really tells you that it feels like knives down your breasts during let-down for the first month or two and that your nipples will get stretched to the point that they would shock everyone in a wet t-shirt contest, or that you might get bitten, or that you will probably squirt milk everywhere as you fumble to feed your babies, or that you get stimulated by other babies crying, or that you might still leak for up to a year or more after weaning, or that sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Still, our bodies are amazing that they do prepare for this natural and wonderful process of providing everything your baby, or babies, needs. I remember dried colostrum when I was only a few months pregnant as well as the tenderness in my breasts as they prepared for the adjustment to an experience that can be described as a piranha attack by my voracious eaters.

My body may have been getting ready, but mentally I could never have imagined how exhausting it would be. And I could have given up, but I didn’t.  For that, I am proud.

C-Section and Breastfeeding Twins: Football Hold

I wanted a vaginal birth.  However, at 37 weeks, we had to induce labor.  After 22 hours of labor, I had developed a fever and the doctor recommended taking them out the way many multiples are delivered, via C-section.

The nurses gave the babies to me for their first feeding in the combination hold (one cradle and one football hold).  One baby latched immediately and with force and the other, while she took a minute, figured it out pretty quickly.  I definitely was relieved that there were no immediate issues with nursing, as I know this isn’t always the case. 

In post-partum, we had the babies go to the nursery so we could rest but had them brought back for feedings because I did have colostrum.  After a few days, however, my colostrum wasn’t enough and the babies got really hungry so I ended up having to give them formula per the suggestion of a nurse. I was pretty upset about that as I didn’t want them to have a bottle yet, but it was either that or they starve, so I was told.  I wish I knew before that incident that I could request a nurse change.  While the formula did give the babies more energy, I felt incompetent that I couldn’t provide everything for my kids.  I kept pumping at the hospital, though, to give them what I could and to help encourage my milk to come in.  The babies transitioned pretty easily between the breast and the bottle and, in the end, we only needed to supplement with formula for about a week.

With a C-section, we were able to stay in the hospital longer and get help from the nurses, which we wouldn’t have had otherwise, and my milk did come in so we were able to get support from the lactation consultant there as well.  Once at home, I called a lactation consultant for a visit and was reassured that I was doing okay.  I highly recommend utilizing the resources available to you early on as there is a learning curve for mommy and baby/babies.

At home at the very beginning, I was simultaneously feeding most of the time as it is generally recommended to try to get both babies on the same schedule so you can get longer stretches of rest.  I favored the double football hold as there was no pressure on the incision as I healed, but later nursed in a variety of positions.  Using boppies and a bunch of pillows helped protect the incision and support the babies.  The first few months especially are about survival for all of you, so if feeding on a schedule doesn’t work for you, then do whatever makes you more sane.  Once you figure out how to nurse lying down, you can snooze and it might be easier to feed on demand at night this way and then feed at the same time during the day.   If your breast is too full and big to comfortably nurse lying down, you can try putting a small pillow under your infant’s head to raise it up to the same level.  This nursing position might save your life, so do what you can to make it work.

Some parents of twins do shifts where one parent responds to the kids for the first part of the night (or alternate nights) and if it’s the dad, gives a bottle of pumped milk.  Some wake the dad up to do burping or to bottle feed one, but then everyone is miserable.  Some hire a night nanny (if you can afford it, it totally is worth it).  The nights at the beginning are so hard and time blurs together in one long repetitive routine, but it will get easier. Just hang in there.

My Thoughts on Pumping: Do It

And start right away.  It encourages your milk to come in and helps establish a strong supply at the beginning. Plus, it lets other people help you out!  Once you are home, you can take a break and get out, though you still need to pump so you don’t really get a break.  And, if your twins are born early, pumping still provides them with the best nutrition, your breastmilk, and you can still work on establishing breastfeeding when possible.  It’s hard work to pump and keep up with it, but in the scheme of things, a year—while the first one feels like forever—is short in the life of your child.

Nursing At Home:  Boppies are your friend

I didn’t want to buy the twin breastfeeding pillow because, come on, what was I going to do with a U shaped pillow?  Two boppies, however, and other pillows around worked great!  At home, a big pillow supported my back and smaller pillows supported the boppies underneath and I would wear the boppies almost like a hula hoop with a baby on each. It took many weeks for me to be able to nurse without help and the girls had to be given to me one at a time for a while, but by about 6 weeks, I was able to get them on and off by myself, which I’ll describe in Part Two.

Nursing one at a time with a boppy allows you do have some time to feel like a person, which is really important to an overtired mama.  I could nurse one while at the computer using a boppy. I could nurse one while eating dinner on a boppy. I took my boppy on the airplane and that was so helpful (we traveled a lot, so I would nurse one and my husband would bottle feed pumped milk for the other and we would rotate who got a turn with the real deal).  The boppy was multipurpose for tummy time and games and bottle feedings and reading books to the kids.   Absolutely a great investment to get two boppies for your two babies.

Getting Out:  What’s That?!

Note that I don’t have a full section on getting help. Well, that’s my own issue, but it is important to get help and let others take care of the housework, or meals, or watch the babies so you can at least get a shower.   Even some alone time with one of the babies instead of both will change your perspective.

There is getting out with the family, getting out with the babies, getting out with just one baby, getting out alone, and getting out for date nights.  That’s a lot to juggle, so it’s no wonder the last three probably don’t happen very often.

If you are out in public with both babies, you can still breastfeed them.  It’s easier to feed one at a time.  I used a shawl with one baby at a time, while distracting the other baby with a book or toy or daddy.  Sometimes, though, I got to use a private room and could whip out both breasts at the same time to be more efficient.  There were times when I brought bottles of expressed milk too and I know some moms prefer to feed that way in public. There are many solutions, but the important thing is to get out of the house.

Somehow, we were able to go out for dinner for our anniversary one month after the girls were born since I left pumped milk for my amazing dad who managed to feed hungry, screaming babies propped on boppies.

I didn’t get out much by myself at first, but I recommend at least getting outside with the babies for a walk. It will do you all a lot of good.  It is important for mama to get alone time too for a haircut, a girls movie night, even grocery shopping by yourself will seem like a welcome break!  I was able to get away for a couple hours here and there (feed kids before I left and when I got back with milk in the fridge for emergencies), but it wasn’t until the girls were weaned that I could go away overnight and have that much needed and deserved break.

Don’t have any expectations of yourself for the first 3-6 months.  After that, you will start to see the light of day, unless, of course, you have to go back to work (or choose to) and you absolutely have to get on some kind of schedule sooner.  I hate to say 18 months is when it gets better, since that seems like such a long time away for a mom of newborn twins, but there are milestones along the way.  The first year really is a blur, but looking back, it goes by fast.  Now, it is so much easier since the kids have each other to play with and well, it’s just fun to have twins.  There are always new challenges and even still, there are struggles.

Going crazy happens.  And, when you are at the bottom, all you have to do is ask for help. Make a call to a help hotline or call a friend to give you a break or take a walk. We’ve all been there. Some of us just admit it more than others.  But, no matter what, be proud of yourself for doing what you are doing.  You are trying to do the best you can for your babies and that’s all you can do.  Congratulations on being a twin mama!

Amanda S. is a SAHM mom of twin girls in Chicago.

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