Top Ten Things I Learned from Breastfeed Chicago (except that there are 22 things…)

Thank you to the ladies on the Breastfeed Chicago Facebook group for their contributions! In no particular order:

1. Coconut oil apparently can cure ANYTHING.
2. Find a supportive mama tribe – toxic relationships aren’t worth your time.
3. Breastfeeding in public is not only possible; it’s normal!
4. Preemies CAN learn to breastfeed!
5. Twins can too!
6. If your boobs look like they are covered in blood, check to make sure it isn’t just ketchup from lunch.
7. Never quit on a bad day.
8. Trust your baby and trust yourself.
9. You’re not alone.
10. That there are tons of mamas just like me who want to challenge society’s norms of breastfeeding.
11. Toddlers can breastfeed, too!
12. Don’t put limits on your expectations for nursing…do it until it no longer works.
13. When you think you’re the only one with an issue, one of two things will happen: you will find that you are not alone, and you may learn something new in the process.
14. Breastmilk has amazing antibacterial properties!
15. What you pump isn’t an indication of your supply.
16. Read up on “normal” baby sleep – it’s probably not what your grandma or girlfriend is telling you!
17. Your breasts are never empty – you are always making milk.
18. Pumping straight into storage bags will save a ton of time!
19. Keep on keepin’ on and get help if you need it. Perseverance in those early weeks is key!
20. “Put a little breastmilk on it.” Breast milk is to me as Windex is to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”
21. Side-lying nursing can save your sanity.
22. AND… the number one thing that I’ve learned from Breastfeed Chicago is to never doubt the power of well-informed and supported moms to change the world, because we’re doing it every day.

Entertaining Older Siblings with a Breastfeeding Newborn in the House

We just had our third child in September. Unlike when we had our second, I didn’t have as many worries this time around about how I would care for, feed, entertain and love all the kids at the same time. I had practice and experience about how this was going to work. However, for some parents, having a second baby can be just as daunting and scary as having a first, especially for some breastfeeding mamas – how in the world can I entertain my oldest when my newborn will be attached to my breast?

For us, when we first came home, my husband was in charge of entertaining the boys. He would make sure baby and I were cozy, then he would take the kids on some type of city excursion or a pretend adventure inside our home. This allowed me to get the hang of the breastfeeding thing again, get some rest and a shower so when I was left alone with all three kids I had enough energy to care for all of us. When my husband and the boys were around while I was breastfeeding, we let the boys tickle baby’s feet, see how she latched, helped me burp her, explained to them how she was eating. We wanted them to be comfortable with breastfeeding and experience how nurturing and wonderful it is (our second oldest loves to “feed” his babydoll by putting her up to his chest and our oldest already understands why daddies can’t breastfeed babies).

When my husband had to return to work, we secured help for a few weeks. We commissioned grandma to come over a couple of days a week for a few hours to entertain the boys. We also hired a postpartum doula to come specifically for sibling care, although, when we had our second child, the postpartum doula was for me – to reteach me basic breastfeeding skills, make sure I was getting a shower, food, etc. and watching after our oldest  so I could nap. I didn’t have help every hour of the day, but the help I did have made the transition into mama of three a lot easier.  I know for many, help can be hard to find, or too expensive – but, there are options out there.  For those truly in need, postpartum doulas who need certification sometimes offer volunteer hours or a reduced rate. Teens can be hired on as mother’s helpers. Retired neighbors might love to play with some young folks for an hour or two.

When I felt ready to tackle motherhood of multiple children on my own, I made individual breastfeeding kits for both boys. These kits contained new toys and activities for the kids to do ONLY while I was breastfeeding. I made sure the toys/activities were things they could do without my help. For instance, felt boards, Crayola Washable Markers Coloring Kits, string beads, peg boards, puzzles etc. The boys were excited to get these kits out when they saw me preparing to nurse Libby. I also reserved a special show for them to watch if they didn’t want to play with the kits, or to watch when I knew she needed some quiet time.

A couple of months have passed and the boys don’t use the kits too much anymore; they will either sit beside me for a few minutes while Libby is nursing, sometimes we read a book together while she is eating, or they will run off and do their own thing. Occasionally, I will nurse her in the baby carrier. And, we are also getting out more, so I tend to nurse in public while they are having fun playing.

Breastfeeding a baby while also caring for a toddler and a preschooler isn’t always the easiest, but we are getting the hang of it together.

Here are some helpful websites:

To learn how to nurse baby in a carrier – check this out: http://bwichicagoland.wordpress.com/

To find a postpartum doula: http://www.icappa.net/search/custom.asp?id=438, http://www.dona.org/mothers/find_a_doula.php, http://www.birthlink.com/directory/index.html

Jennifer Adams is a mom of 3 who regularly finds time to have fun – with or without kids! She is a CAPPA Certified Postpartum Doula, Certified Lactation Specialist, and serves on the Board of Breastfeed, Chicago!

Why I Practice Extended Breastfeeding

Editor’s Note: Lately there have been a lot of questions about the how’s and why’s of extended breastfeeding. In the US, “extended breastfeeding” generally means breastfeeding past a year. Here at Breastfeed, Chicago!, we recognize that mommyhood is not a race, and there is no such thing as the perfect length of time to breastfeed – every mother/child pair is different. Christine does an excellent job of exploring the many benefits to mom and child when breastfeeding goes past infancy. No matter how long you breastfeed, you can rest assured that *every day* that you breastfeed your child, you are giving them something really awesome. Rock on.

The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that “breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired.”  The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend that babies be breastfed for AT LEAST two years.

While my daughter enjoys eating and drinking regular food, we have chosen to continue our breastfeeding relationship.

The health benefits of breastfeeding are so numerous: immunities and vitamins, better teeth and speech development, significant increase in intelligence, stronger eyes and bones, lower rates of ear and respiratory infections, allergies, asthma, meningitis, pneumonia, diabetes, obesity, ulcers, Crohn’s disease, colitis, constipation, urinary tract infections, cancer, multiple sclerosis, high blood pressure and heart disease.

These benefits are increased the longer the child is breastfed.  Past infancy, into childhood, adulthood, and even in old age, people who were breastfed demonstrate better health.  So why WOULDN’T I continue?  Do I no longer want the best health for my child just because she’s had another birthday?  Or because we’re out in public?  Of course not!  (Oftentimes, I will wear my daughter in a baby carrier while nursing in public.  Most people don’t even realize that we are also breastfeeding!)

Yes, my daughter has been sick on occasion, and nursing was a great comfort to both of us. In fact, a toddler with an upset stomach may be able to tolerate nothing but mother’s milk.

I’m continuing to breastfeed for my health too.  Women who have breastfed for many months have significantly lower rates of breast, ovarian, cervical and uterine cancers, urinary tract infections and osteoporosis as they age.  Breastfeeding mothers also have lower occurrences of postpartum depression.

I breastfeed to save my family money.  One year’s supply of formula is between $1300 – $2800 per child, per year.  Then factor in the savings from in medical costs.  It is estimated that medical expenses for breastfed infants are $200 LESS per child for the first 12 months of life than those for formula-fed infants.

I also breastfeed for ecological reasons.  Breastmilk is delivered without pollution, waste, unnecessary packaging or processing.  Therefore, I am contributing to the conservation of our planet.

By continuing to breastfeed, our lives are much less stressful.  When we go out, I never have to worry if I brought enough food, if the drinking water is clean, or if I’ll be able to buy healthy snacks.  My milk is always fresh, clean and warm.

Finally, breastfeeding is about SO MUCH MORE than just nutrition, health benefits, cost savings and the environment!  This unique relationship with the mother facilitates a child’s emotional maturity, independence and self esteem.

Breastfeeding makes parenting so much easier!  Anytime my daughter is hungry, tired, overstimulated, bored, has her feelings hurt, has a hurt finger, or any of the other million things that can go wrong in her day– mama’s milk makes everything better!  It’s soothing for both of us; she gets a healthy snack, some cuddling from mom; and then we’re off again to conquer the day!

Christine Sheets Nutile lives in the southwest suburbs of Chicago with her husband and their three children.  Much to her surprise, she’s been breastfeeding for almost nine years – through two pregnancies, hyperemesis and despite the numerous food allergies in her nurslings.  She’s a co-founder of the APChicagoSouth parenting group and offers private consultations and group workshops on babywearing.  Her family practices autodidacticism, also known as child-led learning, a form of home education.

Two Breasts for Two Babies, Part Two: My Experience Nursing Twins to 22 Months

Nursing Two Babies When You Are Home Alone:  One Step at a Time

There is the rule never to wake a sleeping baby.  Then there is the guideline to feed your multiple babies at the same time.  Clearly, these are contradictory.  I wouldn’t always wake my twin girls.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it if one was learning to sleep longer stretches.  So I created my own madness, especially at night.  During the day, though, I did feed them at the same time since I have two breasts and two babies and let-down is simultaneous. Made sense to me.  Around 8 months, though, the babies were too wiggly and interested in each other.  I started feeding one at a time until they were old enough to calm down again to nurse without turning their heads with my breast still attached or pushing off with their feet like tug of war.  It was nice to get one-on-one time, but it obviously made feedings take twice as long for those few months.

It is a bit tricky to burp the babies by yourself, but you will eventually be able to nurse one while you burp the other and then switch.  You can also burp both by crossing your arms behind the babies’ backs as they lean against your shoulders.

To nurse independently feels like quite an accomplishment, but it did happen and got easier.  Here’s one suggestion based on what I did:

First, put the babies one at a time in a safe place where you are nursing.  For me, I took up the whole bed with pillows, which I felt was safest, though I did use the couch too.  Place one baby securely on one side of where you will sit.  Then, pick up the other baby and get yourself seated and lay that baby down on the other side.  Then, situate your Boppies and pillows.  Next, pick up one baby and put the baby on one Boppy and repeat for the next baby.  Then, latch one baby and then the next baby and you will be efficiently nursing both babies.  It sounds like it is in slow motion, but, believe me, when your babies are crying, you will get fast and it will be a bit chaotic for a few minutes.

Now, which baby do you latch first?  Do you take the one who screams the loudest, or alternate so the “quieter” one is being rewarded too?  Well, that’s tricky and I don’t have the answer.  I like to think I was fair and tried to alternate babies as I did breasts (believe me, I kept charts and kept track of everything for way longer than I needed to), but I’m sure I tried to quiet the loudest one who was getting on my nerves a bit more than the one waiting patiently.

Anyway, so they both are nursing and then they fall asleep.  Now what?  You are stuck under a pile of pillows and multiple babies.  If there is no one else to help you transfer a baby to a place to sleep and you don’t want to take a nap right there after you detach your nipples, then you can do the reverse procedure.  Gently shift one baby ON THE BOPPY (that is important if you want to minimize the chances of the baby waking up) off your lap onto the bed and prop with another handy pillow.  Then, take other baby to a sleeping place and hold your breath that you are successful and run back for the other one.

Okay, so the transfer while asleep didn’t work well all the time and yet somehow I managed to stay hopeful.  Until you learn to nurse lying down your life will pretty much suck as you give suck, but hang in there!  It’s totally worth it.

I admit I nursed the babies IN THEIR CRIBS sometimes to get them to just go to sleep and not have to worry about the transfer. Helps to have a low crib with low sides for that, but it hurts your back and when you look at your deflated boobs that fall to the bottom of your ribcage you’ll remember sadly the times when you told yourself “I don’t care what happens to my boobs, just go to sleep darn it!”

Night Feedings: The Bookends

Once I learned how to nurse lying down my whole world changed!  I co-slept* for close to 6 months and slept between the babies, flipping back and forth all night long. It helps NOT to look at the clock in the middle of the night and just go back to sleep.  Unless, of course, you have to burp your baby!  For many months, my husband and I had a routine that felt like walking on egg shells and I’m sure there is a better way and at least a hundred other ways, but it’s what worked well enough for us.

At night, I would nurse one baby to sleep lying down (at less than 2 months we started this I think).  My husband would bring me the other baby and I would oh-so-carefully flip over and nurse the other baby while he would scoop up the first baby to burp and then return to me when she was finally asleep.  Then, he would take the second baby to burp and return to me.  If I was lucky and they were totally out, I could escape between them for a couple hours, but sometimes they would wake up and we’d have to start over.  If I got away, they would inch towards each other so when I got back into bed, I had to shift them so I had space to sleep in the middle.  I felt like I was bookended, though.  And my back was uncomfortable since I couldn’t really stretch out.  Truthfully, I could sleep a lot better than if I had to get up and put a baby back and forth in a crib and do it again an hour later, since I was a sucker and wouldn’t wake them at the same time.  In fact, the arrangement we had with co-sleeping (and I know it isn’t for everybody) worked well BECAUSE they didn’t wake at the same time.  It was definitely cramped, though, even in our king sized bed.

So, at 6 months, they moved to their own room with their own cribs and I got my space back.  Then, I nursed them in their room and transferred them back to their cribs, but I’d end up nursing one on the floor and would just plain fall asleep until the other one woke up hungry and I’d repeat the process.  The floor wasn’t any better than being squished, but I wanted to move them out of my bed so this is what I did for way too long.

Once we dropped the night feeding at 18 months, the girls started sleeping really well through the night.  I wish I had dropped the night feeding sooner!  It is just so hard to know what to do and there is so much information and so many opinions out there. Remember, this is just what we did…and I’m not even saying it worked well, it’s just what we did to get through.  You will figure out your own rhythm and, as long as it works well enough for you to get through the day, it works.

When to Stop Pumping: When it No Longer Makes Sense

I was lucky enough to be home with my girls and was able to breastfeed them for most feedings.  The girls got a bottle of breastmilk at least once a day that was given to them by another family member and I could do other things during that feeding.  When the family was no longer around and I realized I was the one who was giving them their once-a-day bottle, I decided it was time to stop pumping, which was perfect as we were going out of town and I really didn’t want to deal with it on the trip.  I pumped for almost a year, very frequently at first, then about 3 times a day for a couple months, then down to once a day to just have some in the fridge in case I needed to go out or take a break.  And you will need breaks. While you might feel like a cow at times, you are doing something so incredible that only you can do and it will not last forever.

Weaning: Nice and Slow

I was the one who was ready first.  I was tired of having my breasts tugged on to the sides (by the end when the girls were older, I would lie down and they would each lie down next to me and nurse, but they would pull my breasts and nipples so that now my nipples are permanently angled out to the sides).  My back hurt from leaning over (I know you are supposed to bring the babies up, but when the only comfortable position is with the babies cradled on your lap while sitting on the floor, that isn’t an option).  I needed to sleep through the night for once.  I didn’t enjoy nursing anymore, and I felt really guilty about it.  So, I knew I was done.  Plus, I was going away for a wedding a few months later and wasn’t sure how that would otherwise work.  But we took our time since we weren’t really in a hurry and the girls had expressed no real desire to stop nursing for comfort.

We dropped about one feeding a month.  The night feeding was the first to go at 18 months.  That was hard since I was used to nursing them to sleep, but we all survived that stage.

Next, we dropped the session before bed, which was the easiest, remarkably, to drop.  We replaced nursing with tons of cuddles and an extensive routine of hugs and reading with cow’s milk in a new cup with a straw.  In fact, we built up getting big girl cups for so long that the girls were super excited when we finally brought them out.

After several weeks, I did the same routine for the feeding before nap.  That one took longer because, instead of nursing the girls to sleep, they were awake in their beds and chatted for a long time before they would eventually sleep. But they did.

Finally, the last feeding we dropped was the one in the morning. That one was the hardest for me to let go since I could nap a bit while they snacked upon waking.  Again, we just distracted them and gave them milk in a cup first thing and it was no big deal.

By 22 months old, I wanted to be sure we were done so I could leave for my friend’s wedding and come back to kids on cups and have my now unrecognizable body back.  It worked.  I was more sad than I thought I’d be, probably because of the guilt. But they were ready too.  Within 3 days of weaning, there were no more questions.  One of my daughters developed a habit of stroking the flab under my arm once she was weaned as a seeming substitute, but even that has worn off now.  Every so often, the girls point to my breasts and say “when we were babies, we drank milk from your breasts” and I’m glad they will always know that I did that for them.  My two breasts did their job for twin babies and are now retired.

*For more information on co-sleeping safety guidelines, see: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

Amanda S. is a SAHM mom of twin girls in Chicago.

Our Favorite Breastfeeding Advice

This week’s post is all about our members. Members of our Facebook group were asked how long they’ve been breastfeeding and their favorite words of wisdom. We want to emphasize that there is no “right” length of time to breastfeed your baby – everyone takes their own journey, but every journey is a lot more fun when you have supportive and encouraging people around you.

Thanks, everyone!

• AN: Just say no!!!
  Your baby won’t starve while you are getting tended to after birth…even if you had a c section. Insist on NO bottles and baby will latch! I don’t think this is scientifically proven but many many moms who’s babies were given bottles in the first 4 weeks had bfing issues (including me with my first) 1st baby 10 months…fought til the very last drop
  2nd baby…10 months and going strong!!!
• CC: 1 child; nursed for 32 months, and counting. Best advice: You are enough for your child – there isn’t always one way to get the job done, every mom and baby are as unique as individuals and use Lansinoh before and after feedings and pumping.

• JPY: 2 children… #1 – severe supply issues nursed 8 months (supplementing the entire time)… LC didn’t think I’d ever make it that long. boy did I prove her wrong! #2 – going on 6 months EBF on the 17th! The most helpful advice was to feed baby where ever & whenever. Don’t postpone feedings when baby just comes home from hospital b/c you have company or b/c someone wants to hold the baby and try to calm them when you know they want to nurse.
• EL: I’m nursing my second now.. 22 months old. When I first started, tho, I had a nursing epiphany when I learned (at LLL meetings) that cluster feeding in the evenings didn’t mean I was out of milk, and that nursing was something I could do in my sleep… When I was taught how to nurse side-lying. Both of these things helped me to just relax and have confidence in myself.

• BB: “Never quit on a bad day” helped me.
• WOS: 2 children, #1 was nursed 27 months (though she would’ve liked to nurse longer!), had a lot of issues in the beginning (baby was in the NICU her first four days, so she was given formula, I was encouraged to pump but my milk did not come in until she got home, so whenever I tried to nurse in the NICU she would scream and get frustrated). We had some rocky weeks (as I refused to use formula when we got home) and I used a nipple shield for the first six months (not recommended by LC but I did what I could to make it happen). Be patient and keep on chugging away at it (and with the help of professionals and determination) you can BF, even if you do get off to a rocky start! #2 has been nursing for 10 months and counting!!!
• TL: I am on baby #2 and have been nursing for almost 4 years straight (dec 27th is my first 4 year bday) I never thought I’d make it past 3 months and I can’t believe I am tandem nursing an almost 4 year old and a 10 month old! The most helpful advice I received was to take it one day at a time and if baby is happy and having wet diapers baby is getting enough!
• Kristin P: My little man is 27 mo, and we are going strong with nursing!! He was EBF his first 15 mo of life, and continues to nurse every 2 hours or so – definitely never goes longer that 3 hours without his ‘yummies’! The best advice I received was to follow my babe’s cues/lead for feeds, not the clock or schedule. I read that advice in the Dr. Sears Baby Book that my doula recommended. Other invaluable advice was that bedsharing is a wonderful way to establish breastfeeding – also from Dr. Sears. I was already following Aubrey’s lead, and bedsharing, but it was really empowering and validating to read his words.
• JSS: #1 breastfed for 15 months, #2 is still breastfeeding at 13 months. They didn’t overlap. Best advice was that babies go through growth spurts every couple of weeks where they’ll want to nurse more – just stick with it and let them nurse as much a they want to. They’re not starving, and your milk supply will catch up.
• MS: Daughter nurses still at 3.5 years and son is 9 months old and obviously still nursing. The best advice…trust you body and its ability to nourish your child, not only physically but emotionally.
  My daughter is a testament to that. When I ask her why she still wants to nurse (once a day) she tells me that “I nurse because I love you and I like nursing.” To me, weaning just because someone says to wean at a certain time doesn’t make sense.

• Karaleigh: 10.5 months- drink LOTS of water, be patient and enjoy every moment of it.
• BP: Six months for my six month old daughter. For us, the best advice was skin to skin contact and laid back nursing. And I’ve so appreciated having a good breastfeeding friend to laugh with for plugged ducts, and other challenges as they come up!
• NLR: Between the three of them 6 years. (omg lol) Best I’ve got is don’t give up. Get help if you need it. It will get easier. #2 had a really rough start. Things did not level out for about 8 weeks. (So much pain, bleeding, screaming & crying; not just him haha) Once he and I got the hang of it, it was great. Went 25mos. If you have a c-section, you CAN most definitely nurse your baby minutes after birth. I had my younger two in my arms as soon as I was stitched up and in recovery. They were never more than a few feet away from me. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
• Renee: 38month old still nursing and tandeming with his almost 3 month old brother. Best advice I ever got was to just relax. Stop and take it easy. Take a deep breath and watch as it all works out
• Mirjam: 29 months…stick with it. Breastfeeding can be hard in the first few weeks, but when the two of you figure it out, sharing those moments of peace and silent connection are going to be worth any amount of work that you had to put into it.
• MMV: All four of mine were EBF…#1 was 16 months and self weaned (I was not ready for her to stop!), #2 was a little over 24 months, #3 was also a little over 24 months, and #4 is 26 months and counting. Best advice was nursing on demand and also that even though nursing is the most “natural” thing to do, you and baby still need to work a little to figure it out! My mom also gave me the book “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” which was helpful since I never went to any classes or groups. Also, I agree with the c-section comments…my four were born by c-section and it did not prevent me in any way from nursing
• Rowkeena: ‎19 months..Don’t give up when they start teething. You and your baby will form a communication where they understand that biting hurts. If you want the good stuff, no biting!
• Brandy: 32 months combined, and still going. See a lactation consultant for breastfeeding advice, not a pediatrician!!!
• Beth: 22 months and counting. The best advice I got came before my son was born. A friend told me that it’s okay for it not to feel natural at first and that it is hard at the start. She encouraged me to take a class before my son was born. My husband and I did just that, we took a class with a lactation consultant about 3 weeks before he was born. Looking back, I really wonder if I would have made it without that advice.
• AR: Don’t quit on your hardest day.

  (nursing #2 nearly 8 months & going strong, #1 only 10 weeks. )
• EN: In our 26th month of breastfeeding, the best advice I’ve received is not to worry about the future yet. Most of our concerns about the future will be resolved or become non-issues by the time they arrive, whether it’s nursing with teeth, supply after introducing solids, nursing during pregnancy, or weaning. Don’t waste your energy worrying about possible concerns; instead, focus on the present and enjoy today.
• CS: #1 for 11mo and #2 8.5 mo and counting – best advice I can give is make breastfeeding the only option, we couldn’t afford formula and I wanted to breastfeed with our first anyway, but even though it hurt and she was tongue-tied (fixed at her 1week weigh in) I never even thought to give her anything other than my milk. If you know it’s your only option, it’s a lot easier to stick with it! (sometimes it still hurts, but I’d rather be in a little pain and give my kids the best start I can than the alternative!)
• JM: 15 months. Most helpful advice (from my daughter herself): “boob!” surprisingly (or not) I received a lot of unhelpful advice
• IKK: One boy, 27 months old, still nursing. Even when the kids around him are sick for a week or two with bad colds, he always got over them in about 48 hours, with a little increased nursing. Best advice? O my! Where do I start? First of all, most (almost all) hospitals are NOT baby/breastfeeding friendly. So keep your baby near you as much as possible, maybe even the whole time and do skin-to-skin and nurse non-stop to help your milk come in. Especially if you had any interventions during the birth, it might take a little longer for the little one to latch, etc. Don’t let anybody intimidate you. One nurse kept telling me that my son was going to get cold having him skin-to-skin (because I kept taking his onesie off – even though he was UNDER the blanket with me). But he did not. And he did nurse. Another big thing is: get support. Be around other nursing mommies. Whether it’s LLL or just some friends, it’s so important to have someone to share your questions, joys, and sometimes frustrations. It’s all part of the journey and the last thing you need is somebody suggesting that “stop nursing” would end all your issues. And lastly, always remember, this is the relationship between YOU and YOUR CHILD, nobody else. This is one thing you share, unique to you two, special, magical, amazing and FOREVER – nobody can take that away. And nursing is part of that relationship, so when you are having a hard day, follow your heart, look into your babies eyes and do what you feel is best. Trust yourself.
• SSK: #1 bf for 12 months, #2 for 18 months, #3 for 27 months, and # 4 and am still bfeeding strong at 20+ months (while going to school full time). So that is a total of 77 months, so far… I unfortunately received no advice with my first, but had read every book out there (11+ years ago) and it happened to come naturally to both of us:) Recently many friends have had first babies and have called on me to help with breastfeeding (which I love and do). The best advice I give them is to relax and not get frustrated too soon, keep at it and call if they need anything anytime! It is not “easy” or “natural” for everyone and takes a lot of dedication in the first several weeks!
• Mirjam: Do you know what is so interesting? Reading all of these posts makes it really clear how much of a learning curve is involved in breastfeeding! Nearly everyone who has posted, myself included, breastfed their second child longer than their first, and the third longer than that. Which again kind of echoes what many mamas have said – breastfeeding is a learned behavior, both for you and your baby, and it is important to see it as that so you don’t get frustrated if you falter at first.
• MH: 20 month First Son, 22 month Second Son -  Get through the first month of breastfeeding and it gets easier, in general. I had no guidance about breastfeeding just thought it would be easier and cheaper than formula. Advice: “try not to listen to people’s opinion about how long to breastfeed – short or long, only a mom/child knows what is appropriate.”
• Beth M.: 49 months and counting (14m with #1, 19m with #2 and 16m with #3). Best Advice?? Just relax…your body knows what to do.
• HHL: 2 kids- I breastfed the first for 11 months(and pumped and bottle fed breastmilk until 12 months) and am currently still nursing my 16 month old. I’d say the best advice I received and not until the second was to ignore the clock and feed on demand. I spent so much time recording feedings and EVERYTHING else the first time around and the second time I wrote down NOTHING and life was so much easier. I truly think a huge part of breastfeeding success is surrounding yourself with like minded mamas. It can really feel like an uphill battle when you tell someone about a nursing issue and their response is why don’t you just stop, you’ve done it long enough vs. receiving a sympathetic ear and good ideas and options to give you the support needed to continue. Sometimes all you need to keep you going is for someone to tell you, “I’ve been there” and that’s hard to receive if you don’t know other moms who have nursed and are nursing.
• DS: One little lady still breastfeeding (she’s 46 mos.) and one on the way; best advice — I definitely 2nd Brandy  — unless you have a dream pediatrician, go with the lactation consultant’s advice (or now, the advice you get here! Second best — trust yourself and your mothering instincts always!
• ERM: Wasn’t able to nurse my 12 month old twins but have been PROUDLY nursing my 6 week old since she was less than an hour old. BEST advice I received (which I didn’t get until last week) was to NOT even think about a pump or pumping for at least the 1st 6 weeks. It just adds too much pressure and stress. Just nurse, nurse, nurse and get that relationship down. If baby is thriving then you know you have an adequate supply. I highly recommend a trip to Jill Rabin in Northbrook also. =)
• KCS: Child number one, age 5, nursed two weeks past his 4th birthday. The twins are three and still nursing. I nursed all three for 2 years.
• ECH: 16 months or so with my first, 5 weeks so far with this new baby. The best advice I received was if you were missing nursings because you were busy, spends the weekends in bed nursing. It helped me to work full time, pump, and continue the nursing relationship.
• NW: I’ve been breastfeeding for 3 months, and plan to keep going onto 12. Determination and the bond kept me going. The day that we had an 8am dr appt, we were outside waiting for the doors to open and he was hungry, so I fed him in my car, and he looked up at me with milk all over his face and gave me one of the first smiles I’d seen. Best advice was skin-to-skin contact, it helped me within hours of some nipple confusion. But I’m lucky enough to have a generally easy breastfeeding relationship with my son.

Breastfeeding During the Holidays

Let’s be honest.  While winter can bring lots of joy and extra snuggles with our nurslings, the holidays can also be a difficult time in our breastfeeding journey.

You’ll definitely be busier than usual – shopping, cooking, cleaning, attending worship services and holiday gatherings.  You may have houseguests for several days — or even weeks.  You might be traveling and living in someone else’s (un-child-proofed) home.

Your children may be getting hugs and kisses from relatives they don’t really know or remember.  Your home may be decorated and furniture rearranged.  Nap schedules and bedtime routines will be out of sorts.

New toys will come into your home.  Some of these might be noisy and scary to your child.  Or they may be so exciting that your kids are bouncing off the walls!

You can confidently breastfeed through the grocery store or at the playground any day of the week, without a care in the world.  But the thought of nursing your child in front of your father-in-law or teenage nephews makes you break out in a cold sweat.

Here are some tips to get you through the holidays!

Courtesy Stephanie Dame Photography

If you have a young infant, babywearing can save your sanity!  The ability to discreetly breastfeed in a carrier is invaluable.  (Take some time to master it beforehand.)  If you have you baby snuggled up to your chest, usually even the closest family and friends will respect your personal space.  If the baby is securely tied to you, there’s less chance of him being subjected to the “pass the baby” game.  While I’m happy that so many people love my children, I do try to limit the amount of kisses on their face and hands during cold and flu season.

Most of our mothers and grandmothers did not breastfeed.  Without that experience, it’s very difficult for them to understand the dynamics of your breastfeeding relationship with your child.  Women of their generation were probably instructed to start feeding their babies cereal at six weeks old.  In cultures around the world, food is a symbol of love, so everyone will want to feed your child!

Whether it’s delaying the start of solids, limiting certain foods or avoiding allergens, I find that it’s best to be up-front about what you allow and what you don’t.  Ask your family to respect your decision.  Be firm and be watchful, because I can almost guarantee that someone will try to sneak something that’s not allowed, or they may simply forget that about the butter basting when they offer turkey to your dairy-free child.

An older baby or toddler may be so enamored with all the new people, places, experiences, and toys that they forget to nurse, not to mention the relatives that will be filling his/her little tummy with things other than your milk.  So unless you’re both ready to wean, be sure to schedule some nursing sessions so you and your nursling have a chance to relax and reconnect.  For the easily distracted child, seek out a quiet room where the two of you can escape.

Chances are that you’re parenting very differently than other members of your family or social circle.  Some people will question your methods just out of sheer curiosity.  They’ll be open to hearing about how and why you’ve made these choices, so please take the time to share your story and information.

Others may be confrontational about your parenting, defensive in their own methods and even belittle yours.  In these circumstances, it’s best to not engage.  Just respond with, “This works for our family,” and do your best to change the subject.  You and your parenting partner may even want a code word to be used when one of you needs support from the other, and it never hurts to have an exit strategy!

Most mothers take a “make it work” approach when it comes to clothes that accommodate breastfeeding.   The holidays are the perfect opportunity to buy a nice piece of nursingwear to add to your wardrobe.  In an outfit made for breastfeeding, you won’t have to worry about how much of you is on display.

Many herbs used during holiday feasts (particularly sage, thyme, oregano, parsley, anise and mints) can decrease your milk supply, especially if you’re eating the leftovers for several days!  Stress, dehydration, cold/flu, lack of sleep, travel, irregular nursing sessions can also take their toll on your supply.  So be sure to take care of yourself during this season!  It never hurts to have some Mother’s Milk tea or Vitanica’s Lactation Blend capsules on hand.  (Look for these at your local health food store.)

Almost everyone loves babies and children – especially during the holidays.  So use some that goodwill to make your life a little easier:

Many of our parenting partners/spouses have additional time off during the holidays.  Send Daddy out on an errand with the baby while you clean the house.

Invite your mother-in-law to go shopping.  It’s almost always easier with another adult along.

Plan a “Baking Day” with your kids and Grandma to get those holiday treats made all at once.  (Plan to order take-out for that night’s dinner, or better yet, start your crock pot early in the morning, so when the day’s baking is done, dinner is ready.)

Have a niece or nephew with a driver’s license?  Consider hiring them to run some errands for you.

Find a young teen to hire as your “Mother’s Helper” for an afternoon or two during their winter break.  You’ll be able to accomplish a lot of cooking, wrapping, cleaning with someone else entertaining your baby or toddler.

It’s not unusual for children to experience a major developmental milestone over the holidays.  In all the excitement, they can forget a habit or routine and unexpectedly start (or stop) doing something.  If possible, it’s probably best not to attempt a major transition during this chaotic time.  Give all of you a chance to make it through the holidays before tackling a new skill.

While the holidays are a magical time for our children, they’re also very susceptible to becoming overwhelmed and overly tired.  Be sure to check in often to get a read on their physical and emotional state.

Best wishes for a joyous and healthy holiday season!

Christine Sheets Nutile lives in the southwest suburbs of Chicago with her husband and their three children.  Much to her surprise, she’s been breastfeeding for over six years – through two pregnancies, hyperemesis and despite the numerous food allergies in her nurslings.  She’s a co-founder of the APChicagoSouth parenting group and offers private consultations and group workshops on babywearing.  Her family practices autodidacticism, also known as child-led learning, a form of home education.

Our Unexpected Journey: How I become one of those “toddler nursing moms”

Brand-new baby girl!

I always planned to breastfeed my children.  I remember my mom nursing my brothers.  It seemed the logical choice. It was cheap and easy.  But, I didn’t go into nursing with a real plan.  I figured I would nurse at least until my daughter needed solids and go from there.  Then I did some research and learned that the recommendation was to nurse for a year.  So, that was my goal.  I could do a year of nursing, right?  Sure, it seemed like a long time but if that’s what’s best for my daughter then I would take a stab at it.

Fast forward 12 months.  My daughter was now a year old, the magical age of weaning.  She loved solids, but didn’t actually ingest a large quantity of them.  She still liked to nurse, A LOT and honestly, I liked it too.  I loved the quiet time it brought.  I loved how it helped her go to sleep.  I loved that it was a near-instant fix to anything wrong in her world.  And really at one year old, she was only a day older than 11 months and 29 days.  And the day after that, she was only one day older.  She didn’t suddenly transform into from a baby that depended on my milk for life into a child who didn’t need or want it in a single day.  She wasn’t ready to wean and I wasn’t either.  By this time, I knew that the World Health Organizationrecommended nursing for 2 years and then as long as both mom and baby wanted to.  So, I changed my goals and aimed for 2 years.

One year old!

I never intended to be a “long term breastfeeder”.  I mean, really, moms that nurse their toddlers are weird.  But my little girl wasn’t a toddler, she was my baby.  Even as an independent 18 month old who preferred to run off and play rather than snuggle with Mama, she was still my baby.  And when she was nursing at my breast, I didn’t see some child that was too old to be there.  I saw my baby right where she had been from birth.  It was familiar and comfortable and not at all weird.  But you couldn’t have convinced me of that a few years ago!

Along the way during the second year, we discovered that we were pregnant again.  Nursing became much less comfortable for me. We ended up doing some night weaning in order to gain more sleep, preserve my sanity, and give me patience for the more important (in my daughter’s eyes) morning, daytime and bedtime nursings.  Then we had a miscarriage.  Nursing was no longer painful and in fact the tables turned.  What I once did to comfort my little girl was now a huge source of comfort to me.  As I healed physically and grieved emotionally, my daughter’s patience and love and nursing were such a blessing.  We relaxed on the night weaning, although not completely since we had made great progress.

Two year old!

Fast forward to her second birthday and oddly, she was only one day older than the day before.  We still nursed, but not as often.  She had more important things to do.  It was still our morning ritual and I knew that morning nursing will be the last one to go.  A few weeks later, we found out that we were expecting once again.  We nursed on and off and I was thankful that she was old enough to understand when Mama needed a break.  She moved happily out of our bed and into her own and nursing decreased even more.  Then all of the sudden, we went a whole 24 hours without nursing.  Then it was a few days.  And then a week.  And then I looked back and realized that my sweet little baby, now an active 2 year old, had weaned; all on her own.  There were no tears, it was just a natural step.  I’ll admit, while I am excited to have a little break before I have another babe at the breast, it is bittersweet to know that chapter of our relationship as mother and daughter has come to a close.

3 years ago, I would never have guessed, admitted or otherwise thought that I would nurse my daughter for 27 months.  But I have learned that it is a journey; one that you take a day (sometimes an hour) at a time.  There is no real need to look forward; they will only be a day older tomorrow.  I am already looking forward to the journey I will take with our next child.  Perhaps it will be longer, I hope not too much shorter, but I’m sure it will be filled with snuggles, precious moments, times of frustration and exhaustion, funny stories and above all, it will all be worth it in the end.

Big girl!

Jayme is a former elementary music teacher and now stay-at-home mom.  She lives with her husband and daughter and is expecting another little blessing around Christmas.  She loves exploring natural living, attachment parenting and all things early childhood.  When she’s not playing with her two year old, she occasionally finds time to work on her child and family photography business, Jayme Lynn Photography.

 

You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when…

Hi! Welcome to the Breastfeed, Chicago! blog! I am going to assume that if you are here, it is because you are someone who breastfeeds your child or is interested in breastfeeding.  Who knows, maybe you just typed “breasts AND Chicago” into Google and ended up here. In any case, this is a fantastic blog to support breastfeeding in our city.

If you are like me, you are very passionate about breastfeeding and are often disillusioned by today’s media and society that seem to side with the “stay at home or give your kid a bottle” mentality.  (Let me just let out a little “ugh!!!” for you all.)  I know there will be many posts on this blog regarding all the wonderful aspects of breastfeeding, why it is best for babies, and why you should do it unabashedly whenever and wherever you please.  Today, however, I am going to step back from the seriousness of breastfeeding and visit the lighter side.  Breastfeeding is awesome, in every way, shape, and form.  Breast milk IS best.  But let’s face it…sometimes you just need to have a sense of humor.  So I present to you a small list I have complied based on my personal experiences entitled,

You know you are a breastfeeding mom when…

Your husband thinks it’s funny to teach your two-year old to “moo” at you.

You have completely forgotten what underwire is.  That’s like how the cable tv gets into the house, right?

You go to grab a coaster for a guest and realize it’s a nursing pad.

Your 2 year old knows that the baby eats milk…and it comes from the “boo-boos.”  And, she takes the opportunity to show you (and anyone else who would like to see) her boo-boos…and her baby brother’s.

While walking past the breast pumps at Target your daughter starts pointing and excitedly yells out, “That’s the Mama’s!!!”

The UPS man comes to the door and you are this close to opening it, when you realize your shirt is still up around your chest. Oops.

You have serious concerns about the amount of breastmilk that has been inadvertently squirted into your child’s eye.  So much so that “breast milk in eye” may or may not show up on your past Google searches. (Raise your hand if you knew it could help cure an eye infection!)

You’d rather lose your wedding ring than spill a bottle of pumped milk.  Insurance covers the ring…that liquid gold is gone forever. (I wince even thinking of this…)

Your daughter thinks her little play sliced tomato is a nursing pad…and attempts to stick it down your shirt for you every chance she gets.

You are often referred to as “the milk truck.” As in, “Don’t cry baby, here comes the milk truck!”

Pumping 4 oz. of milk in one sitting just might be cause for a victory dance…

You know that fenugreek has nothing to do with frat parties and that when people are talking about the “dom” it’s not a nice bottle of champagne you drink once a year on New Years or your anniversary.

You get to field questions about your activities, like when my 5-year old niece (after thinking long and hard about what she was witnessing) asked, “Why is he sucking on your BOOB!???”

Hearing a sob story about the woman with the overage problem who pumped 20-some oz. in one sitting doesn’t make you feel sorry for her. In fact, it kind of makes you want to punch her. Or just rob her house of her freezer stash.

You have to bring a change of clothes with you everywhere…not because there is a chance your newborn will poop or spit up on you, but because of this…

Your biggest accomplishment in the last three months is not a big work project, but that you have successfully figured out how to nurse your baby, one handed, while making dinner, talking on the phone, and entertaining your other child.  Rock star!

When people see your son and say, “BIG Boy!!” you get all happy and smiley because it’s all YOU.  Go you! Go your boobs!

You are forced to answer questions like, “How long are you planning on nursing that child?” with totally clever responses such as, “well, I suppose it might be a little awkward when he goes off to college.”

What about you?  What are some funny stories that you could add to this list? I’d love to hear them!

Emily (last name withheld for privacy reasons) is a teacher in the Chicagoland area. She has a two year old daughter who was breastfed until she self-weaned at 13 months and a 3 month old son who will breastfeed until he decides he is ready to stop…or goes to college, whichever comes first.  You can read more about her life on her blog “justem” (link = http://justem.typepad.com), which is a private blog, but she’ll give you the password if you ask nicely!